This is a home-made shuttle built by the Worthless Peon, Chuck Wenzler.
Chuck wants to be a captain. Chuck is (at the time) a Lt. J.G. (Liutenant Junior-Grade). Chuck decides to make himself a captain.
So he designed his own high speed warp-capable shuttle.
What he actually built was this: A cardboard box, shaped like a starfish, with `engines'.
The hull: A mix of slag, discarded `pot-metal' hull pieces, mixed with Chow, an oatmeal-beans-grits-bacon grease foodstuf that, when hardened, becomes as durable as aluminum. Mixed with the slag and metal scraps, it forms a hard substance. Spread on cardboard and drywall, Chuck formed his hull plates, sealed with duct tape and superglue.
Cockpit: Tandy computer navigation system, non-working flight-stick replica, plate glass windows.
Quarters (Left arm): Bed, dresser, B&W TV attached to broken DVD player.
Restroom (right arm): Toilet, sink, shower - yet no sewage or water tank. Good planning.
"Engines" in `legs': TOS-era class-f shuttle thrusters
"Warp" engines: Oversized model rocket gunpowder engines.
Living room: Stolen couch and table, 30-year-old stale replicator (only produces Chow and gray coffee) and a paper plate on the floor, labeled `transporter'.
It's `maiden voyage', it got 30 feet from the hangar, and the cockpit section snapped off. A clone of Patrick Starr (yes from Spongebob), named Fatrick, was Chuck's servant and `engineer', had to literally hold the cockpit and the main body together, until he stretched like silly putty; Fatrick is too dumb - but good hearted - to know he can't breathe in space.
I know this is a ridiculous ship, but it's supposed to be, because Chuck, in real life and fantasy, is a moron.
#crappy_design #Frukathka #Keniverse #shuttle #Worthless_Peon